the honestest holiday

...is t-giving.

it may not have the clout of a christmas or a 4th of july, but more than any other holiday you know what you're getting into. you will eat a gigantic meal. there will be a football game on somewhere. pie will be served. thanksgiving makes no pretense of being about anything besides food. sure, there'’s that whole "“giving thanks"” aspect, but it'’s on your own terms. it isn't like you have to buy someone a greeting card to express your weakly held sentiments for you or lie to small children. not to mention that pathetic ball "drop" on new year's. i wish i could say i couldn't think of any worse misnomers propagated upon the american public, but obviously, i can. they should call it a ball "lowering," that thing eases it's way down the poll like an old man getting into a bath.

but i'm getting off-track. the important thing is that thanksgiving is great because it's about food. there isn't a whole mythology about the birth of santa claus or a flying bell that distributes eggs. it's also another thing that the rest of the country owes us for, which is nice.

the chicken is unrelated, i just couldn't help but think that more turkeys would avoid the gallows if they sported miniature steve austin jumpsuits. na na na na na na na na na.