The banned underground American Democratic Party

For no good reason I've been reading about North Korea a lot recently. The people are so isolated from the outside world, and the state has such complete control over what goes in and out that the whole nation seems preserved in a weird shrink-wrapped Asian/Stalinist 1950's. It is also interesting to me the propaganda they feed to the people there. Without any opportunity to compare it to anything from the outside world it makes you wonder whether most of them realize their leaders are full of shit. I'm not sure that they all do. At least in one of the accounts I read about the mid-eighties (before the famine) by an inpartial westerner, the people seemed to be living bleak but not completely unhappy lives, and most seemed basically loyal to the government. When you don't have any frame of reference and you are constantly being told that the rest of the world is even poorer... (of course these were only really about the main city, I think the rural parts of the country were much worse.) In any case, I am sure that thoughtful North Koreans can put the pieces together; the U.S. can't be both a dominating superpower that strong-arms every other country in the world to oppress their people and an impoverished cesspool teetering on the brink of collapse and/or revolution. That the same news story often presents these two versions side-by-side must eventually strain credulity.

In any case, I was lead eventually to this "news" site. I doubt that North Koreans actually buy the stuff they're saying, but I have an obligation to present some samples. This article by far takes the cake. Could this be the most succinct description of American politics? A few months old, but still hilarious. "Nuclear Tests Cover Up For Rapists?":

Just a few days ago, prominent American Republican (Fascist) Party representative Mark Foley was revealed to have raped and sodomized dozens of young male pages who was completing their work experience in the US congress. Foley, who was not democratically elected to the congress, was also the president of an anti-child abuse organization. It turns out that the organization was a front for many paedophiles and rapists among the undemocratically elected American congress members.

These proven accusations, launched by the banned underground American Democratic Party, were overshadowed now by the country's recent testing of nuclear weapons. Of course, the American propaganda news sources told the people through hours and hours of daily propaganda that the missiles were being tested because of a potential attack from the government of Korea, while not a single news source mentioned the crimes of Mr. Foley and the rest of the congress. In reality, the country is preparing for an aggressive attack against peaceful Korea, and to continue its dirty deeds with young children.

It has long been known by the international community that the USA serves as a prime location for child sex trafficking and prostution. In 2005, a group of Korean special operatives infiltrated and rescued a child prostitution ring of young girls and boys from Uzbekistan in America. It turned out that the prostitution ring was the work of Uzbek dictator Islam Karimov and American dictator George W. Bush. Karimov, known for boiling in hot water those who dissent against him, made a deal with Dictator Bush, giving him cheap oil and young children in exchange for blood money. Now it seems, with the revelations of Fascist Party member Foley, the American government has begun raping its own children. It is yet another sad story of victims of the American imperialists. By contrast, in Korea our government members are democratically elected, and uncorrupt. Rapists and paedophiles would be immediately ejected from the party, and put in jail for the crimes, rather than being defended like they are in America.

Where did they get that photo? Moving on, this "poll":

Earlier last week, a poll was conducted in Pyongyang to show public opinion so far going into the December presidential elections. The results came out as follows:

Kim Jong Il - Korean Workers' Party - 70.33%
Kim Yong Dae - Social Democratic Party of Korea - 22.69%
Lee Jung-Mi - Green Party of Korea - 5.07%
Ryu Mi Yong - Chondoist Chongu Party - 1.83%

Many are shocked at the results, with nearly 23% of the population of the city in favour of the Social Democratic Party, which announced its pro-Imperialists platform next week.

Yeah, I'm sure it'll be close. The best part? I looked up the names of those other people and at least two of them are South Korean Olympic athletes.