April 29, 2006

meow-mix meow-mix uber alles

a few weeks ago i was humming the german national anthem (don't ask me why, i think i must have heard it somewhere, and it is catchy...) and my friend, not recognizing it, asked me what it was. i mumbled the few words i could remember...still, she couldn't tell. i said "deutchland?"

nothing but, "is that some world war 2 song?"

so i told her, and after pausing momentarily in contemplation, she fired back, genuinely at a loss: "what is our national anthem?"

once i regained consciousness, and made sure she was serious, i started humming the meow mix song.

how could i resist?

i am worth $2,814,352.

now if only I could take out a morgage on myself...

April 26, 2006

it's about time

my photography career has finally taken off. back in january i submitted some pictures to the prestigious (?) college art journal on a whim. surprisingly, they actually took one, and far more surprisingly, they put it on the cover. not bad for someone who has almost no interest in anything remotely artistic and hasn't participated in any sort of creative group or class at this school. i would consider it more of an accomplishment if it didn't seem like they passed over work that was actually the result of many long hours (by people who are actually, you know, trying) to stick a photo from a talentless sham like myself on the front.

the picture was from a series i took back in september. i even had to write them an "artist's statement" about the "inspiration, influence, meaning, process, etc." just a paragraph? but i have so many phony explainations to give them! here is what i made up:

after consuming an immodest quantity of french fries, i found myself nauseous and miserable at connecticut's fabled "woodstock fair." while my girlfriend happily flitted about the rides i looked for things to photograph... the fact that you cannot see the expressions of the ride-goers makes this apparatus, designed for unthinking glee, seem somewhat mechanical and contrived, which was the way i tend to view overblown fairs like this one when i get sick on their greasy food.

oh, what profundity.

April 13, 2006

the power of christ compels you

there are occasions when i am very proud of the architecture of my institution. this is one of those occasions.