March 1, 2005

beware the kalends of march

i like all the old fashioned roman terms for the different parts of the month. (1st is the kalends, 9th and 15th are the nones and the ides usually). in fact, i would like to start writing them on my checks. i would like to start writing checks too. i wonder if they would have to accept them...

for at least the past three years i remember where i was when febuary turned to march. the two winteryest of the winter months are definitely my least favorite, not so much for the cold, but rather the general bleakness. its the knowledge that anything decent is way way off on the horizon. you have all these fun holidays in the fall, capped off by new years and then its two months of let-downs. mlk was the man, but his holiday seriously needs some kind of traditional event. (shake hands with your black friends? too awkward. contemplate america's sad history of racism and slavery? did it already, i get it, its depressing. punch a southerner in the stomach? getting warmer...) valentine's day is terrible as well, a phony goddamn card holiday. sucky for obvious reasons when you're alone, irritating to me when you're with someone as well, since you have to make a big show out of being in love because you're told to do so by the calendar. seems so disingenuous to me but no girls ever think this way. then there's president's day. i don't expect any from this one except maybe a day off (which i surely won't get) but it does bother me that they combined washington and lincoln, each probably deserves their own day. plus, doesn't altering the name lump them together with a bunch of mediocre presidents? there isn't anything worth celebrating about the office of president, there have been as many good ones as bad. they should designate a "loser day" for all the stooges that have run the country, and make it like a big cautionary holiday. recognizing flaws is just as important as honoring greatness. they could talk about nixon, harding and jackson, plus you know that the not-in-power political party would get all sassy and funny about including the current president in the festivities. and he, meanwhile would look really uncomfortable no matter what he was doing on that day. it would be great!

march however brings at least the promise of some improvement. it might still be cold and snowy, but usually the first decent weather comes in march. there is a spring break, an equinox and st. patrick's day (finally a winner!) and someone always brings up the ides. i won't go overboard here, because surely if i do something terrible will happen to me, but after febuary and january its a huge improvement. bring on the nones!