Random Rotating Banners for Blogger-beta

Switching over to the blogger-beta template is a piece of work if you have customized your site at all. Most things were no problem, however the one piece that was the most difficult was being able to keep the nifty random banner at the top of the page. I kept trying to make myself settle for a code not quite like what I wanted; but I can't give up on a little problem like this once I've started trying to figure it out.

So this is my public service announcement for people out there without a decent explanation of how to do this. Actually, that is not completely true, there is already at least one pretty good tutorial which I started out with. It is over here, and it works pretty well. However, it puts the banner in as a background image instead of an <img>, which is pretty limiting. It is clunkier, non-resizable, and most bothersome to me, you can't make it a link back to your main page.

So instead, there is a way you can put it in directly, not as a background. First, go to the html editor and expand it to show the widget code. Then find the part (shortly after the css garbage ends) that says:

<b:widget id='Header1' locked='true' title='YOUR BLOG NAME HERE (Header)' type='Header'>
<b:includable id='main'>

Then paste this:

<div style="padding-bottom:3px; padding-top:3px;text-align:center;">
<a href="http://two-sheds.blogspot.com">
<script type="text/javascript">
var banner= new Array()

banner[0]="<img src='http://examplehostingsite.com/banner0.jpg' />"
banner[1]="<img src='http://examplehostingsite.com/banner1.jpg' />"
banner[2]="<img src='http://examplehostingsite.com/banner2.jpg' />"
banner[3]="<img src='http://examplehostingsite.com/banner3.jpg' />"
banner[4]="<img src='http://examplehostingsite.com/banner4.jpg' />"
var random=Math.round(4*Math.random());

document.write(banner[random]);
</script></a>
</div>

The "padding-top" and bottom stuff at the beginning is specific to me since I like having that little frame around the picture, so if you don't like that you can change it, but otherwise all you need to do is get your own appropriately-sized pictures and put them in there. You can have as many as you want as long as you start counting at 0, update the (4*Math.random()) to the maximum banner number that you have, and if you want more than 9 place the number in the parentheses of "new Array()"

So, people of the future who googled this, I hope this helps.


Update: Commenter Aquafina made the astute observation that if you still have the title of your blog in your banner as text you need to take it out, and has provided a link to a page that explains how to do that.

Sic Transit Gloria

This glorious movie was obtained during a CCD calibration for the STEREO mission. The pitch black disk of the moon crossing in front of the sun from a million miles away is used to find the baseline of the instrument, which is designed to observe the sun. Astronomical photos of the sun always end up being better than I expect them to be, and since this a mere calibration, I expect my expectations to be surpassed.

Curtis Montague Schilling blogs

If you are anything like me, you have often said to yourself, "that Curt Schilling fellow sure must have some interesting insights and opinions, I wish he would bother to share them with us." I am assuming here that you live in outer space or inner Mongolia and are not aware of his lengthy interviews, open letters addressing 9/11, frequent postings on Sons of Sam Horn, or call-ins to sports talk radio when some random caller disparages his splitter.

Luckily for you, hypothetical and uninformed reader, Everquest player, Red Sox pitcher and noted opinion-haver Curt Schilling now writes a blog. A vessel from which to pour forth the self-aggrandizing and pomposity that he can't unload through those other forums. Seriously though, his involved approach is actually pretty refreshing and his site has a good chance of being an insightful and revealing look inside the game from one of its most cerebral and articulate players...and hopefully, he might get some baseball in there too.

Inertia, I hope you're listening

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

ThreatDown - Cheney's Clot

Colbert Report Full Episodes
Funny Political News

Christian Bale Parody
Joke of the Day

Stephen Colbert's #1 threat to America on Tuesday's Threat Down: Gravity's Liberal Bias.

I'm glad to see someone finally catching on. Principle of Equivalence? Please, spare me your pinko ideology.

[You can put your own favorite fundamental force of nature in Colbert's wheelhouse with the ThreatDown Generator. What the Black Hole At Center of Galaxy ever did to put itself on notice, I would very much like to know.]

Scientific Federalism

CV reports on New Mexico's assertion of astronomical nomenclatural superiority.

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF NEW MEXICO that, as Pluto passes overhead through New Mexico's excellent night skies, it be declared a planet and that March 13, 2007 be declared "Pluto Planet Day" at the legislature.

As to the issue of Pluto's planethood I have few strong feelings. Unlike (what seems like) most of the population, within astronomy its status is not seen as meaningful or contentious, from what I have seen. Everyone has an opinion, just not a very strong one. You can call it whatever you want, the naming of an object is not a scientific question, merely a semantic one. There is no platonic ideal that sets up a definition of planetness. This is also why it seems unnecessary to incite all that furor--a concise scientific definition for "planet" is not needed for anything. I don't see the point of creating a category that artificially groups Mercury and Saturn together while excluding Pluto and the riff raff in the Kuiper belt.

[Sorry about that, bloviating about Pluto's fate seems to be a blog-transmitted disease (BTD?). I staved off infection for 6 months but it couldn't last forever. A half year of Pluto-muzzling is sort of impressive considering that I actually roomed with an IAU member who voted to demote the beleaguered Dwarf Planet last summer. (If I were him I would not announce this in mixed company.) Not to mention that my finest moment at the CfA last August was probably cracking up a table of astronomers with some kind of remark comparing Pluto's demotion to the pre-Iraq War boycott of France. I don't remember what the joke was exactly (boycotting Plutonian wine? changing the name of the Disney character to "Freedom Dog"?), but clearly it shows that I had insightful and witty things to say on the topic which I withheld in the interest of moderation.]

Anyway, New Mexico's unilateral action (or impending action, it hasn't been voted on yet) raises some questions. I am not that bothered about this state making declarations about "science" because Pluto's labeling is entirely a semantic issue. It is so awesome to hear that the New Mexico Legislature can move on to meaningless resolutions addressing astronomical nomenclature now that they are done making the state an utopian paradise with no remaining Early problems. But what is far more interesting to me is when is the next time that Pluto will be in New Mexican air space? If I don't see it written up anywhere in a day or so, I will attempt to figure it out. The state's 315,194 km² area translates to ~500,000,000 km² of New Mexico-shaped surface area out at the orbit of Pluto. So it might be possible, but considering NM's location above the Tropic of Cancer and Pluto's high vertical eccentricity, it could be a while.

Safety first

XKCD, illustrious webcomic, often concerned with the cartoonist's fear of velociraptors, recently received a missive from a paleontologist. There isn't anything I could possibly add, so here is most of it:

Dear sir,

[...] I notice that many of your comics revolve around people (including yourself) with a phobia of Velociraptor. This phobia revolves around Velociraptor overcoming some 70 million years of extinction and the geographic barriers between its home and yours, leaping out of the underbrush and/or through the kitchen, and doing unmentionable things to your innards with its teeth and claws.

I see little point in addressing the substance of your fears, as that’s perhaps best to someone more qualified to deal with the human mind. I hold a Ph. D. in vertebrate paleontology and am somewhat more qualified to address the symptoms. To wit, I would like to help you overcome your fears by successfully defending yourself against Velociraptor.

It is widely known in the field of agronomy (e.g., Avery, 2002) that birds are repulsed by methyl anthranilate, a natural compound found in many of the less sweet fruit varieties. Methyl anthranilate has been used (with some success) as a bird repellent on crops. Now, we know (e.g., Gauthier et al., 1988) that modern birds are descended from dinosaurian ancestors, of which one close relative was Velociraptor (ibid.). Much as lab rats respond to drugs like humans, it is entirely possible that Velociraptor will respond to methyl anthranilate as does the common crow or European starling.

Thus, I recommend you carry around a loaded SuperSoaker filled with Concord grape juice. Fresh-squeezed would be ideal, but from concentrate should be effective as well. This will not only have the theoretical asset of protecting you from Velociraptor, it will have the pragmatic asset of protecting you from thirst.

In appreciation of your Web comic efforts, I will happily waive my consultation fee.

Daniel Snyder, PhD
Knox College

dodecalogue

This shouldn't be noteworthy; typical religionistas ignoring their own rules.

...must, avoid, urge, to be self-righteous. Not that these folks ever do! Zing!

[via]

Red Letter Day

A recent novel, Nineteen Minutes, describes a high school shooting in an small New Hampshire college town eerily similar to Hanover. In the sense that it contains an elite school and borders the specific towns of Norwich and Lebanon, which only Hanover borders. In the novel an "ostracized teen" kills 10 people in a rampage at his school. I heard the author lamely pretending that the story did not describe Dartmouth on NPR last week. Interestingly, the day the shooting is to take place is today, March 6th. Despite a concerted effort by the principal to calm fears of some kind of copycat spree based on this extremely lame novel, a fifth of the students didn't show up to school today. Terrible job by everyone involved.

100 Greatest Red Sox

Say what you will about Red Sox fans, they do nothing halfway. It is in that spirit that I must point out the existence of Top 100 Red Sox, a daily countdown of, well, you get the idea, written by a coterie of knowledgeable bloggers. 100 is a lot of people, there is some room for mistakes in ordering, but that doesn't make arguing about it less fun. John Cusack would be jealous.

After a little estimation you realize that the bottom third are going to be the Ike Delocks of the world. Listing the greatest 100 anything is quite a challenge, and it is hard to figure out what serious quantitative differences they used to separate #81 from #82, but as an excuse to write about and debate players of different eras it definitely works. It isn't that I necessarily have strong feelings about Ira Flagstead, but check out this paragraph:

The club honored the Montague native with “Flagstead Day” in 1928. “Boston’s outfielder” was presented with a variety of gifts, including a new car and $1,000 in gold...A .290 career hitter, he closed out his baseball career with Tacoma of the Pacific Coast League. He died at the age of 46 in March of 1940.

$1000 in gold? Died at the age of 46?! Who the hell is this guy?

Nothing matches baseball for obscure knowledge, and this countdown has it in spades. By the mid-sixties they started getting to people who I already knew, so it became interesting for the intended reason, and I applaud their venture. How they are figuring out that relief pitcher and Mike "The Iron Eagle" Timlin comes in at #59 I have no idea. (I just started calling him this and it made sense. It also happens to be the name of my car.) Their approach is supposed to be primarily statistical, but unless they are compounding win shares (something I didn't see any evidence for) it isn't immediately clear how they are comparing say, a 3rd baseman to a pitcher, or a relief pitcher to a starter. But this ambiguity is what makes it interesting. They have declared their intent to acknowledge only the years played in a Boston uniform, rather than the career as a whole. Guys like Babe Ruth, Dennis Eckersly, and Jimmie Foxx being notable examples of this. It will be interesting to see what they place the most emphasis on.

I would say that the #1 spot is a foregone conclusion, but the rest of the top 10 is up for grabs, especially depending on the historical sensitivities of the writers. This group of bloggers is quite thoughtful, so I am confident they will not trend embarrassingly to the recent when a bit of perspective is called for. I doubt that I could accurately predict their choices, but I can certainly give my own. It will be interesting to see how in line I am with their picks.

1. Ted Williams
2. Cy Young
3. Pedro Martinez
4. Carl Yastrzemski
5. Tris Speaker
6. Roger Clemens
7. David Ortiz
8. Harry Hooper
9. Smokey Joe Wood
10. Bobby Doerr/Carlton Fisk

No Babe Ruth, no Schilling (though Game 6 alone entitles him to a top 20 spot at least), and Clemens gets bumped way down for being backstabbing asshole (these things matter.) And Ortiz's spot is on basically on loan. If he retired tomorrow he'd crack the top 20 for the astonishing, mind-boggling, incredibleness of his 4 short years, but some more time and performance is necessary to justify that position. After all, has he let me down yet? They aren't quite using the same rules as me and are trying to apply more statistical rigor to their run-down, but hopefully I'm not way off.

I expect the brain trust over there to be kinder to Ruth, and slightly less keen on Ortiz, Yaz, and Fisk, but there isn't a great deal of flexibility there. In my mind Pedro and Cy Young are sort of a draw, but despite pitching only part of his career in Boston, Young has the goddamn pitching award named after him. It is impossible to know how he would fare in today's league, but back then he was one of those psychos who pitched both games of a double header, scoreless. And then threw a perfect game the following day. If I had it my way Clemens wouldn't be on there at all, but you can't forget him entirely. Since I can't purge him from the top 10 I'm copping out with #10. Whatever, I don't have rules, or any claim to expertise, or a readership who will be mad at me if I violated either.

I will keep my readership appraised of the results.

Saturn: it was real after all

Here is one of those lousy diluted posts I was just promising.

-I seem to have beat the actual physics bloggers to the punch with that Jim Carey-Conan O'Brien Quantum physics video...by about a week. I also managed to figure out (and get confirmation) that the paper they discussed was Phys. Rev Lett. 83 (1999) by L. J. Lapidus, D. Enzer, and G. Gabrielse: "Stochastic Phase Switching of a Parametrically Driven Electron in a Penning Trap." To summarize: I'm amazing.

-Obligatory shot of the sixth planet recently captured by Cassini. Two observations:
1. I have recently been teaching assisting an intro astronomy course that involves looking at Saturn through a telescope. A partially mechanized and difficult to align telescope in an awesome 19th century shed with a roof that opens by a crank on the wall. A lot of the students first react when looking through the eyepiece by saying something like "it looks so real!" I can partially understand this impulse; when first visiting famous locations or monuments I have usually had a similar reaction, where I'm not really astonished by the sight itself, but primarily at the familiarity of it and the novelty of beholding say, the Lincoln Memorial, in person. It must be some kind of side-effect of being extremely familiar with things that ought to impress us that makes this the first thought to come to our minds in these situations--still, people should try not to vocalize their bewilderment at the existence of well-known objects. You just sound retarded.
2. Cassini may be the only NASA mission which is way more famous than its namesake. Think about it, you have Galileo, Apollo, Ulysses, Hubble, Chandra, and so forth. Chandrasekhar may not be known to the general public, but the kind of people who are aware of the telescope certainly know who he is. All I ever knew about Cassini was that he discovered the gap in Saturn's rings, and some further research shows that he discovered of Jupiter's Great Red Spot as well. Let's face it Cassini fans, they would have found those sooner or later anyway.
(Credit goes here)
(Updata: Astronomy Picture of the Day is riding my coattails--as usual)

-Some clever cognitionists have determined that 17 is the most random number. Inspired initially by the good folks at Cosmic Variance they set out to compile poll data confirming the original suspicion that given a choice from 1 to 20, 17 is the most frequently picked "random" integer. It is indeed so, with roughly four times the popularity expected in a truly random distribution. Even numbers and multiples of 5 scored poorly, and similarly prime numbers like 7, 13 and 19 were the runners-up. They were able to get around ~350 responses from people who were presumably not aware of the hypothesis being tested (they put a poll on their site without explaining why--hopefully they weren't biased CV readers). They also found some other effects like a preference for primes and little preference for odds. I would like to see more data though, I am betting that the primes thing is only true for these low numbers and that with a larger range you would see significantly more odds than evens as well as a severe allergy to multiples of 10. They do a round up here.

-Far, far overdue acknowledgement of "How to Tell a True Lab Story," a parody of this Tim O'Brien vignette that I only today encountered. Anyone who, like me, has ingrained high school memories of the disjointed Vietnam stories in The Things They Carried will recognize and appreciate these paragraphs.

A true lab story is never moral. It does not instruct, nor encourage virtue, nor suggest models of proper scientific practice, nor restrain graduate students from doing the things that graduate students have always done. If a story seems moral, do not believe it. If at the end of a lab story, you feel uplifted, or if you feel that you have learned some useful fact about science, you have been made the victim of an old and terrible lie...

You can tell a true lab story by the questions you ask. Somebody tells a story, and afterwards you ask "Can you really destroy a bathroom with liquid nitrogen in a soda bottle?" and if the answer matters, you've got your answer

Standards and Practices

I've been gradually reforming the site. Over time I've altered the layout, put in rotating headers, a "favicon" (before they were ubiquitous!), random quotes, "highlights" for what seem like good posts, and most recently a bunch of links. Last fall I dropped that lower-caps only thing (it is actually harder). But a slight change in content might be needed as well.

The thing is that the format of this blog is somewhere in between obscure science/history linking and actual writing in the form of wildly irresponsible theories. I have been primarily motivated by what I don't want my site to be. By the time I hear about an interesting story it has usually been around enough that linking to it would be derivative and lame. Once in a while I get the jump on them, but there are more than enough link-type blogs out there in the world, all talking about exactly the same things, without adding one more. Also, there is absolutely no way I would want to produce one of those far-too-personal descriptions of the minutiae of my life, nor an overwrought soapbox for my political views. Any of these things can occasionally be done well...but not by me.

On the other hand, it isn't like I can realistically churn out high-quality exposés on North Korean newspapers everyday. So it seems like I have 3 options: (a) do nothing differently, try to post more; (b) feel less responsible for the stuff I link to, worry less about not being original; (c) lower my standards generally, more anecdotes, more short observations.

I think I'll be going with (b) and (c) for a while and see if I get too watered-down. But I won't be writing any wimpy entries about my feelings. Because I don't have any.

One of those flags is hung wrong

For unknown reasons I am strongly compelled to point out this excellent Rushmore-style video for 16 Military Wives by hyperliterate prog-rockers, The Decemberists. I like how the video is completely unrelated to the song lyrics, which are themselves only vaguely anything. Linking to videos has a "watch this while I go make a sandwich" type laziness attached to it, but I'm hungry and it's worth watching, so enjoy.

Please imagine what you would have thought 10 years ago...

and now...


I would say that makes 3 out of 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse, wouldn't you?