April 24, 2008

Valiant weirdos hit Thomas Friedman with Pie!

The world is round motherfucker!

As news sources as diverse and varied as the Brown Daily Herald to the Providence Journal to the Providence Daily Dose, are breathlessly reporting, pompous windbag Tom Friedman got pied by some commies at my school Tuesday. Evidently, they were not fans of his "sickeningly cheery applaud for free market capitalism’s conquest of the planet, for telling the world that the free market and techno fixes can save us from climate change." Learning the precise views of pseudo-intellectual phonies like Friedman is not really my cup of tea, so I don't know too much about that, but it sure sounds about right. (The moment I hear the word "globalization" my brain initiates a complex series of reactions that blurs my eyesight, disables my hearing and causes me to start thinking about baseball*). Nonetheless, I am familiar with his cheering on of the Iraq War (great call dude!), and his repeated insistence (like all those other Very Serious and Respected commentators) that good times there were a mere 6 months away. Perpetually 6 months away. So he totally knows what he's talking about. Let's all listen to him and not throw pies. NOT!

Anyway, for someone with such mustachioed views on world events, he sure doesn't take a pie to the face very gracefully. Look at the way he freaks out and then looks all indignant -- as though he didn't just deserve or expect to get ambushed by some leftist caricatures with tins of green cool whip.

*Oddly, the phrases "Gaza Strip" and "meatless lasagna" have the same effect.

Update: A friend of mine here who went to high school with the alleged pie thrower, recounted an incident in the model UN wherein she dumped a bucket of water on the student playing George Bush. Foreshadowing of things yet to come? I think so.