January 23, 2008

Mike Lowell: Probably not a murderer IRL

-Courtesy my good friend Matt, the information that Stephen Colbert appeared in a Law & Order Criminal Intent episode (imdb). Probably, you can watch it somehow with your iTunes or what have you, but I don't have an iTunes (it conflicts with my policy against paying for things), so I can't and I can't find a great version of it on the tubes other than this rather long climatic scene (which doesn't make a lot of sense out of context)

-Speaking of murderers, I have had two separate and very different dreams where Mike Lowell, 3rd baseman of the World Champion Boston Red Sox is trying to kill me. In the first one he wiped out a backyard full of children with an automatic rifle and then stalked me, knowing that I had witnessed the crime. I somehow managed to throw him off a jetty. In the second, he went from room to room of some vaguely-defined dormitory stabbing people.

Everything I've heard about the real Mike Lowell leads me to believe that he is the sort of chap who helps old ladies cross the street, but what you do in other people's dreams says a lot about you. If he kills again, I am going to the authorities.

-When you finally are murdered by Mike Lowell, you will be pleased to know that you can be forever interred in a casket or urn bearing his team's logo from "Eternal Image - Brand name funerary products that celebrate the passions of life." Brand name! Only $5,000! Need I say more?