September 9, 2007

SkyMall II

I'd love to be a fly on the wall at a SkyMall board meeting. "OK, so I've got an idea for how we can justify charging $80 for a TV remote holster..."

Who knows why they think the most receptive crowd for their overpriced lawn furniture and non-existent-problem solutions are cranky travelers, but they're always coming out with new products so there must be something to it.

Nuclear Globe, $274.99

Welcome to a brave new world of water fun! Step into your private 6-foot inflatable sphere and spin your way across the water. Purchase two globes and stage a "nuclear face-off" as you bump and bounce off your opponent. Inset cups on the outer surface function as paddles as you maneuver within the globe. (Weight limit 170 lbs.)

Purchase our death ball now and you'll also receive half off on our SkyMall-brand talking LED tombstone! Seriously though, is there anything I want to do more than purchase two of these to stage a 'nuclear face off'? Cool off with poorly-formed Cold War references!

Motorized Snack Float, $49.99

Radio controlled snack float brings food and drinks to you!

No need to paddle around or get out of the water for a cold drink or snack -- make 'em come to you! Motorized tip-proof float operates by remote control -- just press a button and it zips right to you. Great for parties.

Holds 5 cans and a snack bowl.
Requires 6 D batteries (not included).

This could be the standard-bearer for the SkyMall franchise. Do you think you could use it in combination with the Nuclear Globe™?

Personalized Branding Iron, $89.95-99.95

This is exactly what it looks like. Impress you friends! With your initials in meat!

Charger Valet, $75.00
This handsome wood cabinet charges them as it conceals their power adapters. Keeps all your devices charged and ready for action -- and eliminates cable clutter. Includes six-outlet internal power strip and straps for cable management.

The charger valet is notable for its price. It doesn't seem like a useless thing, and I can imagine that it must be convenient if you really are finding yourself frequently tangled in cords, and yet, there are so many better ways of dealing with this. Like just being better organized. Furthermore, I can't imagine the the person who has fortune enough to blow $75 on completely irrelevant items, yet also finds themself overwhelmed by plugs.