April 13, 2007

1816 all over again

Scene from my front door

Dear Invisible Overlords,
Please adjust the dial on the clandestine weather-controlling machine. Yes, yes, we all get the joke, but you are going to give it away with these freaky mid-April snow days. Al invented this thing for a reason. If you don't reset it to "Unseasonable Warmth" right away our secret plan to establish an all-powerful world government under the guise of environmental protectionism will not succeed. Remember that our goal is "the replacement of individual free choice and free markets with a collective that has the power to exterminate anyone and anything on behalf of a rational government model that justifies all actions without resort to bourgeois notions of morality." That's a tall order, and it'll never happen unless it gets warmer, not just haphazardly swings between extremes at unexpected times of year.

I feel like I am living on a glacier. This is never going to work.

Conspirator #4757

(cc: Al Gore)