June 4, 2006

callous disregard

i'm gradually waking up from my thesis-induced coma. one of the first steps was googling myself, to make sure that i haven't been reported dead or missing. it reminded me of the period in my life before i started writing about invisible particles 24 hours a day. what a strange and different time that was. the best result? unequivically this review of my 'pygmalion' performance:

"ryan m---- as phonetics expert professor henry higgins brings a light and comic breeziness to his callous disregard for the condition of womanhood. he struts, brags, complains, and bemoans with conviction, all the while keeping his own focused concerns high above most of the life surrounding him..."
i've fogotten how funny that review was. the same callous disregard i reserve for actual women? "brags, complains, and bemoans"? wow, what a stretch for me...what tremendous range i had as an actor! comparisons to my actual personality are purely coincidental.

it made me think about the other fine performances in that accomplished acting career of mine. there was this shout-out i got for 'a funny thing happened on the way to the forum', wherin my "lust was thwarted by old age and shrewish wife." how flattering. i couldn't find a link for it, but when i was in 'the elephant man' i remember that the part of the article that was printed on the front page ended with "in one scene however, m---- stopped acting..." essentially giving me a heart attack. then there was a 30 second pause where i was frantically flipping through the newspaper, trying to find the rest of the piece. "stopped acting...because the play was over. thank god, what a terrible performance." or "stopped acting...and dropped his pants. it was weird." it ended up being something like "...and fell into the role of dr. treves* so that for a moment there were no longer actors and a stage." which sounds nice at first, until you realize that it's just a backhanded insult. i was good for a "moment"? how long did i "stop acting for"? a minute? an act? what that comment was really saying was "hey, really great job during that brief interval where you didn't stink!" how would he like it if i came down to where he worked and knocked the pen out of his mouth? it'll only take a moment.

*treves lived down the street from higgins. talk about typecasting, they had me down to characters on one london street. maybe that range wasn't so great after all.