April 24, 2005

april showers bring uncomfortable social situations

the other morning i was in the shower here. the facilities in these old buildings are of the big horse-shower type design: they have two shower heads at opposite ends and a curtain in the middle. there is a locking door that opens into the middle of the stall. i was performing the morning cleanliness routine on one side. shampoo. rinse. minding my own business. repeat. then, out of nowhere, some jerk comes in and says, "hey man, let me get in there?"

horrified pause.

this fellow wants to get into the small shower area with me, separated by only a thin “curtain” (finest of all privacy devices), with the intention of becoming naked and soapy within 3 feet of yours truly. to say the least, i'm not really into that idea. so in the most incredulous tone i can muster i reply, "uh, are you sure about that?"

"i've got to get to class," he retorts, sounding not at all surprised by my reluctance to accept a scenario whose unremitting horror is not expressible in words.

needless to say, i was forced to cut my shower short because of this marauding jackass.

this is my 6th straight year living in a dorm and i must admit, it’s beginning to wear on me slightly. i don’t try to get into showers with other guys, i wait or use the one on another floor. nothing is so important that i need to get within 3 feet of another naked man. we don’t have to be savages here. i am getting pretty tired of living around these idiots. it is just so wrong to go around forcing people to either give up shower time, or participate in what could pass for the opening scene of a gay porn flick.


Zach said...

Methinx he doth protest too much.