Anachronism

When I was growing up, the movie theater in Seekonk Mass was mysteriously split up across a street. On one side, they had 10 screens, and on the other, they had 2 more. The smaller side always got the second-runs or generally weaker movies and the theater itself had the feeling of a gradual slide into despair. Whenever I saw a movie there it was always nearly totally empty, even on summer weekends, and you could tell the (usually singular) employee was passing the time by thinking about all the action they were missing across the street.

Anyhow, since there was one theater complex in Seekonk, but it was split in two, the two halves were referred to as Seekonk 1-10, and Seekonk 11-12. When you looked up a movie in the paper, it would have a number next to it, and that would tell you which theater it was in. Eventually, a few miles away, but still in "the 'Konk," a souped-up multiplex (also a Showcase) was erected and at long last, mercifully, the 11-12 was euthanized*. However, the 1-10 continued to exist. Since there are now two Showcases, to to tell the difference one is referred to as "Seekonk Route 6" and the other as "Seekonk 1-10." I only recently realized how absurd this is. It might as well be the Seekonk 4-14, the numbers don't refer to anything other than as a point of reference for a theater that no longer exists. More importantly, and this is very important in my opinion, the Seekonk 1-10 shows 12 movies at a time. It still has 10 screens, but the reason for calling it "The 1-10" is because there were ten movies which each have a number -- the 10 refers to the movies not the screens. So both parts of the current name make no sense. I just thought I should explain this to you, in case you ever find yourselves on the mean streets of the 'Konk.


*It was turned into something called the "Fireplace Showcase" to utilize pre-existing signage. I found this photo through google image search, but I don't know how to credit it.

I am better than you

I gave blood today, because I love the world and its many peoples. But clandestinely, as a secret admirer does. Or a stalker.

Some of the other grad students and I raced. I got 7 minutes even. They got 11.5 and 11 minutes, so I blew them out of the water. Like a stuck pig! Oink. But guy #3 came in later and managed a 6 minuter, so I slipped down the rankings to 2nd. So it goes. I think I should have been allowed to give more blood than them, because I'm a big guy and I've got more than I need, but the blood bank people didn't want it. Lame. Maybe I'll come back next week and see if I can donate my Chi or "life force," or clean conscience, or bone marrow. It took a while to wait to give blood, that could be better too. I want to swoop in, (already bleeding perhaps), give up a pint, slap on a band-aid, and sprint for the exit. Then wake up an hour later, get some ice for my head, and be done with it. There were some sainted people who seemed to be donating plasma in the corner with some crazy machines. How come they didn't advertise that one? I'd do it. They want me to be magnanimous? I'll shove my magnanimosity down their fucking throats. A priest had taken the afternoon off from molesting little boys to do it, but I think it was a scam -- machines don't need blood, they feed on copper wire and dust (at least the carpet cleaning ones). Maybe the robots are stocking up on blood so that we won't have any when they decide to attack humanity.

I got free juice, cookies, and an inflated sense of moral superiority.

Ryan to 15-day DL

there was a period of my life, roughly 9-16 years of age, where I contracted no illnesses whatsoever. barely even a cold. those days seem now so far gone. for in the stretch of a mere year and a half i've gotten the sampler, a little bit of everything. listed chronologically, these are my health mishaps:

-stomach flu (the night before a final)
-stomach ulcer (probably brought on by fresca and following politics)
-sinus infection (probably brought on by the sox falling down 0-3 last year)
-wisdom tooth surgery
-pinkeye

and now, my crowning achievement:
-dislocated knee!



a few hours ago, in what was a truly bizarre moment in recreational softball history, i managed to injure my knee not while dramatically sliding into a base, not while making an amazing catch, but somehow as i was batting. yes indeed, while jumping backwards from an inside pitch as i simultaneously attempted to swing at it i was able to inflict probably as serious an injury on myself as possible given the relatively sedentary nature of batting practice. i feel that words alone are not sufficient to fully express how stupid a maneuver i was attempting. my right leg planted while my hips turned. instead of bending front-back, the joint went left-right and my knee made a crunching, popping sort of noise as i crumpled over.

most importantly, i completely deserved it. this is what a lifetime of flailing, uncoordinated movement gets you. what's really amazing is that it didn't happen earlier--somehow this was the first major injury i've ever sustained. it seems that all those years of taking two stairs at a time, losing my balance as i turn corners, playing squash without goggles, and general clumsiness had been adding up to that moment yesterday, and it finally all caught up to me.