Left-wingers now regulating Earth's rotation

From the "I hope this is satire" category, a letter to the editors of the Arkansas Democrat Gazette, on the far-ranging effects of extending daylight by an hour each day. Regulating foreign and interstate commerce, levying taxation, declaring war, ratifying treaties, approving judicial nominees, and now apparently, specifying the rate of the Earth's rotation...are among the roles of the U.S. Congress.

You may have noticed that March of this year was particularly hot. As a matter of fact, I understand that it was the hottest March since the beginning of the last century. All of the trees were fully leafed out and legions of bugs and snakes were crawling around during a time in Arkansas when, on a normal year, we might see a snowflake or two.

This should come as no surprise to any reasonable person. As you know, Daylight Saving Time started almost a month early this year. You would think that members of Congress would have considered the warming effect that an extra hour of daylight would have on our climate. Or did they?

Perhaps this is another plot by a liberal Congress to make us believe that global warming is a real threat. Perhaps next time there should be serious studies performed before Congress passes laws with such far-reaching effects.

Curse these big-government liberals meddling in the amount of sunlight to callously increase Al Gore's dvd sales! Today, more daylight, tomorrow they'll blot out the sun over the red states!